In 1999, during the press-conference in Astana, Vladimir Putin said the phrase which gave birth to a popular internet meme:
“We will follow the terrorists everywhere. If in airport – then in airport. And, please forgive me, if we corner them in the toilet, in the end we will waste them in the toilet. That’s it, this question is closed.”
A week ago hardingush, anonymous soldier of Russian SpetsNaz and at the same time the rising star of Russian blogosphere, shared a story and pictures (see below) about the combat in which a terrorist was actually killed while moving his bowels.
It happened this summer. The local villagers reported about two suspicious men who were regularly appearing in the narrow strip of forest near their village.
The area was cordoned off and the soldiers of special forces were sent to search the territory. Here is what one of them said:
“I was wading through the bushes and went out to an area full of garbage. There I saw this guy “laying a larva” [ed: Russian slang for defecating]. He saw me, his eyes bulged, and “larvae” started quickly dropping out of him, like out of cow – slap-slap-slap.
I whisper to him: “No sound! What are you doing here?” He stutters – “Po-po-poo-pooping“.
And then I noticed something wrapped around his penis.
Shit, I think to myself, here we are – they already attach explosives to their c**ks. Now he will connect the wires and kill us all with his TNT member.
He asked me in a whisper: “Can I put on my pants?“
I myself stutter and continue looking at his penis. “Stay where you sit, bitch!” – I say.
But he gets up and puts his hand in pocket. I shoot a burst. From my right other guys shoot at him, too. He falls face down, and I think – “thanks God, he covered the explosives with himself …“
Afterwards our engineers determined that this “Shahid” didn’t have any explosives on his baby-maker. He simply got that gonorrhea or other weird s**t which he tried to treat with Levomekol [ointment]. And in order to achieve the maximum effect he would wrap it with a pack, over it some nylon and then adhesive tape, so that it wouldn’t fall down. But in his pocket, which he tried to reach with his hand, he indeed had a grenade.
The second terrorist heard the shots, but did not hurry to help. He grabbed the gun and rushed in the opposite direction. He had light clothes, therefore the men in armor had hard time to catch him.
However, the young bandit ran towards the cordon – so nobody worried too much. As they say, what you can’t catch – the bullet will catch.
Here he is. Died in the best traditions of terrorists – in the pile of trash.
And this is how their “camp” looked.
Khattabka, pretty suicide belt, explosives and religious literature – everything one needs for a life in forest.
Entrance to the “camp”.
Other stuff of bandits.
And closeup of explosives.
Comments of Russian netizens
alborod (replying to the above): Only the Syrian rebels regularly upload photos in Instagram.тока сирийские повстанцы регулярно выкладывают фотки в инстаграмм
ivanov_su (replying to the above): Fathers of families don’t have time for this bullshit. The elder ones who fight – don’t sit in forests. And there are quite few of the “old” ones left – they don’t have very high life expectancy.Отцам семейства не до такой ерунды. А те, что там постарше воюют – не сидят в лесополосах. Да и мало их ‘старых’ совсем осталось – продолжительностью жизни они похвастать не могут.
sarrleton: Pindoses did it cleverly. They sent their terrorists to Syria and Assad exterminates them. Ours also should be sent to free some Afghan country.
nig_ab: What would happen to the soldier if it turned out to be a harmless villager who just wanted to shit in the forest?а что бы было спецу это был бы реально безоружный селянин, в лесок посрать отошедший?
hardingush (author; replying to the above): Nothing would happen. He didn’t obey the requirements of law enforcement employee. He was said not to move – means not to move.Ничего бы не было. Он не подчинился законным требованиям сотрудника правоохранительных органов. Сказано – не шевелись – значит не шевелись.
hardingush (author; replying to the above): What heck should we wait for? Does he have a weapon? Yes. He drops it? No. What’s the problem then?А хрена ль ждать. Оружие у него есть? Есть. он его не бросает? Не бросает. Какие вопросы?
yrii86: You set it up! There are no such mujahideens!!! They all die nicely, you just later put them on the pile of trash and shoot their asses!!!! I don’t believe!Вы все подложили! Не бывает таких моджахедов!!! Все умирают красиво, а вы потом их на кучи мусора кладете и задницы спецом простреливаете!!!! Не верю!
hardingush (author; replying to the above): It’s the bullet exit hole in his ass.Это выходное отверстие от пули на заднице у него.